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Which Cat Gender Is ACTUALLY Best?!

    The Remarkable Truth About Cat Genders: Which is best for you?

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    Cat Genders” class=

    So you are thinking of getting a cat, or you already have a cat and your curiosity is just killing you.

    (See what I did there? I wait for the groaning to stop).

    For many people, the process of getting a cat comes with stages. The first stage is deciding whether or not to get a cat, the next stage is determining WHERE you will adopt your new cat from, and next is deciding on breed and gender.

    So let’s start with gender because, let’s face it, there are only two options for you to choose from.

    Male or female.

    Some people don’t have a preference when it comes to the gender of their pet, and some did not get to choose the gender as their new family member walked upon their doorstep. (See my story about my first cat to understand that reference if you’re a curious cat).

    However, if you are lucky enough to get to choose whether you want to add a male or female into your family, then this is the spot for you. It is also important to point out while these are the typical traits that are common in males and females, each animal is unique in their own way and could go again all social norms. This is just what each gender is more generally known for.

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    And a final callout before we dive into, there are some instances where the breed may place the deciding factor in which breed you go with. It is a known fact (insert research here) that 3 out of every 4 ginger cat breeds are born males. *Insert Harry Potter Comment Here*

    Also, when it comes to tortoiseshell and calico breed cats, those are predominantly female cats. So if one of those three breeds is what you have your heart set on, you may not even need to figure out which gender is best for you. Their breed is helping decide for you.

    Regardless of the breed you decide to go with, remember that cats are awesome! They still like to play, sometimes cuddle, and love you unconditional. The biggest thing here is to ensure you find the right gender for YOUR needs. That means spending more time with your cat and less time researching them , or cleaning up after them.

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    “3 out of every 4 ginger cat breeds are born as males.”

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    Okay, ladies first. But before we dive deep into them, I want to take a second and call out that a big differing factor of behaviors is whether or not your cat is spayed.

    I will touch on the topic of whether to not to spay or neuter your pet at a later date. For now, I will just start talking about the female characteristics of an un-spayed cat.

    First, one obvious call out is if you do not spay your female cat…she will be able to have babies.

    Pretty simple to start out. If you want your cat to breed, then great! You did it right! However, a few things that come with their ability to have babies are something you may not have thought of. First off, they go into heat. What is heat you may ask? Well, it is the cat’s version of a period.

    Un-spayed female cats go into heat about every three weeks when they reach maturity. When they go into heat, much like when it’s that time of month they become irritable and cranky. They also will meow constantly stick their butt up in the air.

    I am not going to go into extensive detail about cats being in the heat because I have a HILARIOUS story of my first cat’s first time going into heat. Trust me, you want to hear that. I find it both funny and educational.

    Another thing to call out with cats that are not spayed is when they are in heat, they want to find someone!

    Desperately! So if you have an indoor only cat, you run the risk of her getting out, escaping or getting hurt. (And not knowing who that kitty daddy is either, talk about Jerry Springer stuff).

    Does Spaying Make Female Cats More Affectionate?

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    Which Cat Gender Is Best? #catgenders #femalecat #malecat #catfactsNow if you do decide to spay your cat, then you don’t run any of those fears listed above. Your kitty will not have babies or go into heat (lucky girl). And with all pets, you run the risk of them running away, it is just generally higher in cats that have not been spayed. So, let’s move onto spayed female cats.

    Female cats tend to be more independent than male cats which can be either a positive or negative. If you are away a lot and need a cat that is okay when you go to work, female cats rule.

    And when I say more independent, I don’t mean less loving. For example, my female cat. Fiercely independent. She sleeps all day when I’m home and is content knowing that her mom is there. However, when I am gone at work all day, she is also the first one to run to the door to greet me when I get home.

    Female cats are also known to be smaller and have more dominant personalities than male cats. Smaller because, well girls are just naturally smaller framed than guys. That’s life.

    And I am extremely biased having two female cats but I love their dominant personalities. My second cat will be the first one to swat at you if you missed your alarm and it gives them more ‘human’ qualities.

    If you have read this section and are thinking, man! Female cats are great, why would anyone even consider male cats. This section is most certainly not to count out the awesomeness that is male cats.

    It is just to showcase the females. They both have their positives and negatives and both make life interesting in so many ways.

    So if you have been completely biased towards females up until this point, or have had your heart set on males and are getting disappointed, it’s time to take this journey on a new turn. BOYS!

    “Female cats are also known to be smaller and have more dominant personalities than male cats. ”

    Are Male Cats More Loving?

    Alright, let’s move onto the boys. Just like girls, their characteristics will differ largely depending on if they are neutered or not. If you are wanting to breed your cat, then that is fine to not have them neutered. But if you have no intention of breeding,

    I highly, HIGHLY, recommend neutering your pet. Trust me, you will thank me later. As many breeders know, when a male is not neutered, they are feisty little things. When they sense that a female is in heat (see above for what is ‘in heat’), they will try and do whatever it takes to get to that cat.

    Their ‘urge’ is never ending and they want to find female cats to fertilize.

    These males are also more likely to escape their homes searching for females in heat which can cause them to get lost or hurt if they are an indoor only cat. (As a side note, if your cat is an indoor-outdoor or outdoor cat, PLEASE neuter him!

    You do not want him getting all the stray kitties pregnant. He/you cannot support all those babies!).

    Are Male Or Female Cats More Likely to Spray?

    Males, both neutered and not, more often not neutered, can have tendencies to be territorial. Especially if something new or foreign came into their household, whether it be a new baby or a new pet.

    When this happens, they can become territorial of their own home and possessions and want to show this new creature what’s his. Any guesses on how he does that? Ding, ding ding! You’re right. They spray.

    They feel as though they have to mark their territory. But there are times when females can do the same thing, this is just more common in males. Especially males who are not fixed.

    All the Positives with the Boyz

    Alright, enough with the negatives, let’s move onto the positives about the BOYZ. So one benefit is, you don’t have to worry about them getting pregnant or going into heat every month if you don’t get them fixed. Males also tend to be larger in size than females, so if you are looking for a large cuddle buddy, males are the way to go.

    In addition to their size, they also make cuddlers because they tend to tolerate being handled more than females. If you have babies or toddlers in your family, a male cat will probably be more patient with their poking and prodding than a female cat.

    Not only do they tend to tolerate more from their humans, but they also tend to be friendlier than the independent female cats. This I do not completely understand. I like to relate animal traits back to us humans but this stumps me on that part.

    Usually, men won’t even ask for directions, let alone be extremely vulnerable to others. So I have to believe that there is some trait in male cats where they appreciate their owners for taking care of them and loving them. If little kids are the price they have to pay for a warm house, they seem to be okay paying that due.

    Which Gender Cat is More Affectionate?

    If you have always wanted to get a male but are conflicted based on this section, here are some questions to ask yourself. Do you want to breed? If yes, then keep on keeping on. If no, are you planning on neutering your cat?

    If yes, still good. You will most likely get a tolerant, friendly cat.

    If the answer is no, then if you have no other animals, are not worrisome about marking and are okay if he fathers many stray kittens, then a male is still fine! If you answered no to any of the last sentences, you may want to take a step back and see if a male is truly the best fit for your family.

    While each animal is different, it is important to go into adoption knowing what to expect with your pet, so you are not shocked and potentially disappointed later.

    Cat Genders” class=

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    “If you have babies or toddlers in your family, a male cat will probably be more patient with their poking and prodding than a female cat. ”

    Do Male Cats Get Along Better with Male Or Female Cats?

    The last topic I wanted to touch on is determining the gender if you have another pet.

    Sometimes some tend to do better with others. For example, if you already have a female cat, another female would probably bond well and have a faster connection than a boy cat.

    Same with boys, they will usually get along better with their own genders.


    And then to COMPLETELY contradict what I just said, if age is a factor, you can usually throw that whole thing out the window.

    If you have an adult female cat, you can’t go wrong with male or female younger cats. Female cats usually like to be alphas.

    Basically, as long as the female cat has been around long enough to let this new kitten know who’s boss, they are normally okay.

    That being said, the only thing to be wary of is bringing a new girl kitten into the household with an older male. As I said before, females normally like to be alpha and will try and take over the male’s alpha role. Sometimes he gives it away willingly, sometimes not so much.

    When looking at what other animals you have in your household, it is always safest to go with the same gender, because they will usually connect easier, have fewer difficulties with Alpha and Beta roles, and form a faster both and opposite genders.

    There are always outliers though. As I was typing this I stumbled upon the cutest ‘brother and sister’ cats who just adore each other. So listen to your instinct above all else, they’ll usually lead you in a good direction.

    Which Cat Gender Should You Get?

    In conclusion, there are always going to be positive and negatives with anything in life, even in choosing a gender for your cat.

    But at the end of the day, both genders are loving, caring creatures who need a home.

    I would NEVER tell someone to turn away an animal in need because it was a certain breed or gender, and I hope most of you would do the same.

    Hey Readers! What gender do you guys have? And would you get the same gender again? Tell me about it below!

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    which cat gender is best for you? #catgender #catfacts #cats101 #allaboutcats   

    10 thoughts on “Which Cat Gender Is ACTUALLY Best?!”


      I have two boys! Both tuxedo cats! They are one year apart from each other and the BEST of friends! Mr. Tux is a big ol’ beauty weighing in around 17lbs and Little Pop is a tiny nugget, we call him the 5lb clown! Haha!! They both LOVE snuggles and to have their bellies rubbed! I haven’t yet had female cats, but I can’t say I’d change a thing over here! We’re as happy as can be! ❤️❤️


      I have two boys! Both tuxedo cats! They are one year apart from each other and the BEST of friends! Mr. Tux is a big ol’ beauty weighing in around 17lbs and Little Pop is a tiny nugget, we call him the 5lb clown! Haha!! They both LOVE snuggles and to have their bellies rubbed! I haven’t yet had female cats, but I can’t say I’d change a thing over here! We’re as happy as can be! ❤️❤️

    3. I have a 20 year old cat. He is a very good boy. I also have two females. One is 11. The other is 7. The 7 year old female and the 20 year old male get along fine. The 11 year old female doesn’t get along to well with the other two. I am her person. The other two are closer to my husband because he doesn’t really do a lot with them. I groom them and the girls don’t like it. I never knew you were supposed to do it everyday so the girls don’t like it. We may not get anymore animals. I am 66 and my husband will be 67 this month. I am not sure who would take them if we didn’t out live them. Although maybe we could get a senior cat or dog. I love animals dearly. I grew up with all kinds. I prefer animals over some people. We also take care of two feral cats outside. We have shelter for them and feed all our pets well. Anyway l better call it a night. The cats are all sleeping. I usually don’t pick male or female. I pick the one who needs a home the most!! Goodnight.

      1. Vickie Skelley

        I have a five year old rescue black and white female. She is everything you described for a female cat and I’m glad I read this. I want to get a second cat someday. After reading this I would try and get a male kitten. Hopefully she, even though fixed, would become mamma cat to the kitten. I really want a male in hopes it will be loving and cuddly. She, Ms Madeline, is not a cuddler and she does not like to be handled. But she has good qualities as you mentioned above. She’s very loyal. Not a wanderer stays close to home. She’s very clean and does not wake me up too much. I like her and she likes me. I just have to be around and she’s content. Thanks for this blog. Very helpful.

        Vickie from NY

    4. The part about who gets along with who, gender wise, is a bit different in my case. Or rather, it’s mixed and gender doesn’t seem to play a role. Got two males and a female.

      The big guy / 1st incomer / mellow personality
      The lady / 2nd incomer / mellow personality
      The small guy / 3rd incomer / a dominant f* idiot personality (apologies my love, but you are).

      The big guy and the lady, 1 month apart, they came together around their 4th month of age. The female indeed showed she’s the boss, but not once in a bad way, it was all within their play process. And after their first week of getting to know each other they were literally in love.

      Now the small guy, 3 months younger than the other two, half their size: came in 5 months later. He was already in the house for months (so the smells, his and their existence was known to each other), but their first free roaming meet up was 5 months in.
      And it went like this: Storming out of his room, “Helloooooo, I dont care about both of your sizes, I’m your BOSS. KING. Come here, lets…play (hard, so you wont know I’m playing, you’ll think it’s an attack)”, jumping on them, chasing them, biting. No casual touch of the nose to check each other, nada. Just a storm running towards and on them.

      They both freaked out in fear, especially the female. Double his size, but cornered in a defensive posture, she growled. His reaction? “Did you just DARE…”, tilted aggressive head, attack, her running to hide, him chasing her.
      The big guy, also afraid and hiding and running away but no growling, just avoiding him.

      To this day, the males…you can call them friends but it’s only because my big guy is a really mellow patient guy, accepting all the torture. When the idiot bites too hard, my mellow guy runs away. He doesn’t hold grudges, he’s an innocent giant like that and it’s only his personality that allows this friendship.

      My lady, always terrified of the idiot. He bites and attacks her, he doesn’t miss a chance to show dominance towards her, he can’t accept that she never tolarated that hard “play” and the biting like the big guy does, his dominance. And all that, has affected her relationship and the play with the big guy too, nowadays if the big guy gets a bit over during their play, she runs and growls b/c she’s afraid that she’ll get bitten like the idiot does to her. She’s also a mellow well rounded personality and loves my big guy and was never like that with him, but now fear surrounds her because of the idiot.

      Anyway, the post got too long…So, what we have is:
      * 2 males, getting well together, but not because of their same gender, just because the big guy is who he is.
      * a male and a female, in love from the beginning, the best kids all around to each other.
      * a male and a female, not getting along, all because of the male’s need for dominance, not the other way around.

      So, it’s completely a matter of personalities in this household.

      1. livelongandpawspurr

        I love all of this I don’t even know where to begin! You are totally right, personalities do tend to play a huge role in whether cats will get along with other cats! I feel like most people go completely black and white when it comes to males and females but there is so much gray like your example! Thank you for adding this comment! 🙂

    5. We had 10 stray cats at the same time that we adopted in as house cats over years. 7girls and 3 boys. We had screen doors on the walk-in pantry and the mud room so we could slowly introduce the newcomers to the clan. They all got along beautifully. I have to say I think one of the males was alpha but in a very subdued way. The 3 males were more social with strangers and more laid back. We also had 4 dogs and all the dogs and cats got along great. I think it is how you introduce them to each other. being the crazy animal lovers that we are we were willing to create rooms in the house that could be used to give separation until the resident cats felt comfortable with the new addition. It usually only took a week or two in some cases for everyone to be OK. I would work with the new arrivals outside to gain their trust before bringing them into the isolated rooms to meet the residents. And then they would be graduated to the general population. We never had a fight or even any disagreements. I also think when you have a number of cats none of them feel like it is their personal territory. Also maybe when they have been surviving on their own they are so grateful to have a home they just want to make it work.

    6. Sandra Majeau

      I have a brother and sister pair, my male cat is very cuddly and tolerant when picked up, my female different, she’s independent and not so cuddly and doesn’t like to be held , there both fixed( of course) but he is definitely the boss , all and all there both sweet in there own way.

    7. My adopted black and white male cat was 4yo when I decided to adopt a friend for him. He is super sweet and I thought another male would be best, however, I fell in love with a female tuxedo kitten about 5mo old! I kept them apart for only one day, as they were both so curious. He was afraid at first and she took charge. They immediately became friends. He has relinquished his toys, bowl and whatever she wants, she can have. They have never shown a negative sign toward each other, and the match is the best thing I could have done for my boy. Enjoyed your article and you are so right: females rule! She is a little spit-fire. Doesn’t like to be held much, but when she gets tired, she cuddles up next to me. She constantly wants my attention during the day – play, play, play! Thank you for this information.

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